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Are there doorbells in Hebron?

Imagine you are a soccer fan. Imagine that you are such a fanatic that you absolutely must find a way to watch the Champions League final between AC Milan and Liverpool.

You don’t even live in those cities. Not even the countries. But, that doesn’t matter – you are a soccer fan. You think a zero-to-zero score is exciting. You watch a televised soccer match in which an oversized announcer sings out the word "goal" in such a loud, drawn-out note that it triggers Caribou mating season. In other words, you are not normal.

Worse, you are in a war zone. You are an Israeli soldier on patrol in Hebron in the Occupied Territories, walking slowly down the street with your weapon ready, your eyes darting here and there, watching the Palestinians, the streets, the alleyways, the rooftops, always the rooftops, the automobiles, the animals. Wait a minute. Go back to the rooftop. There was something there. Yes, there it is, gleaming in the sun for all to see; it’s a – satellite dish.

Suddenly you realize there is nothing between you and the Champions League final but a Palestinian family. Should you walk up to their house, knock on the door, and ask if they would let you watch the soccer match on their television? You could take snacks. Starving populations love snacks.

But, you’re a soccer fan, dammit! Even more, you’re an Israeli soldier in a well-armed squad with several other well-armed soccer fans in the Palestinian Territories and the Palestinians are unlikely to appreciate the Champions League final between AC Milan and Liverpool and it would be a damned shame for dedicated and well-armed soccer fans to be deprived of their sport just because a Palestinian family stood between them and the nearest satellite-connected television. Can’t you just shoo them aside?

So,

And

The governments of the United States and Israel assure us that the Israelis will make peace with the Palestinians. If so, I predict it won’t be during soccer season.

The stories that have hit the Internet suggest these were not the first Boob Tube storm troopers in Hebron.

"They are using our houses like a cinema," Batch said. (Reuters)

In a way, the Palestinians are fortunate that Israelis patrol their streets, not Americans. Can you imagine having your home invaded for "Desperate Housewives," "American Idol," or "The Apprentice?"

Seriously, can you imagine your home being invaded by soldiers who want to watch a soccer match? If the government that sent you these soldiers offered you a ride in a car on the highway to peace, would you get in? Me neither.

On the other hand, would you consider popping some popcorn and inviting the Israeli soldiers to be your guests if it might relieve the tension? Relieving tension saves lives in war zones and occupied territories. A little civilized behavior can go a long way.

Or one could consider how different the story could have been had the Israeli soldiers knocked on the door and asked the Palestinian family if they could watch the soccer match on their television. The family might have said hell no, or they might have allowed the soldiers to watch out of fear of what they might do if they refused, or there might have been a third outcome: mutual respect.

Imagine a civilized scenario: The soldiers want to watch the soccer match and the Palestinians have satellite dishes and television sets. The soldiers knock on a door and respectfully ask if they can come in and watch the soccer match on television. The Palestinians agree, make sure the soldiers are comfortable, and bring food and beverages. The Israeli soldiers have also brought food and drink, and give it their hosts. All persons present behave in a manner that is civilized.

Which brings up a fairly simple, but pregnant, question: Are there doorbells in Hebron?

© 2005 by Mike Tully

All content on this page © by Mike Tully