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SOMETHING ABOUT THE EYES

We live in an age wherein it’s permissible to observe that the President talks like a cartoon character but impermissible to point out that he looks like one.

When George W. Bush began spouting his "evildoers" line, I could not help but think of Wally Shawn, playing the "Masked Avenger" adventure hero in Woody Allen’s "Radio Days." "Evildoers beware!" was his signature line. When he said it during a rooftop party toward the end of the film, it was one of the funniest lines in the movie. I have long considered it one of Bush’s funniest lines as well, right up there with "mission accomplished" and "bring it on."

Oh, wait. That last one wasn’t funny. Some of the "evildoers" took it seriously and starting "bringing it on" more than a thousand dead Americans ago.

At the time he said it, many Americans did not share Bush’s "bring it on" jocularity. The military, for example, failed to appreciate the tactical value of inviting our enemies to attack us. Bush, however, wasn’t worried. He never seems worried, unless you ask him to describe any mistakes he’s made. When a reporter asked him to do so in a televised news conference, he was Bambi on the Autobahn, with a headlights stare that made the reporter look like Perry Mason in cross-examination. I thought his head would fill with sparks like "Robbie the Robot" in Forbidden Planet. Who knows? Maybe it did. His words and policies are consistent with a man whose head is filled with sparks.

The President’s supporters characterize his error-free inner reality as evidence of mental toughness, of resolve, of a President who stays on course, of a leader. The rest of us, who don’t have to ignore the emperor’s nudity, see something entirely different: oblivion and disengagement. We see Alfred E. "What, Me Worry?" Neuman. I’ve compared Bush to Alfred E. Neuman since the year 2000. If you Google the two, you will come up with thousands of articles and images inspired by the comparison.

But when Hillary Clinton, the favorite piñata of the white male right, makes the comparison, you’d think she had given Osama the keys to the White House.

This is from WNBC.com, website of a New York City TV station:

The Associated Press reports:

These guys are defending a President who said, "It's in our country's interests to find those who would do harm to us and get them out of harm's way," and, "But Iraq has — have got people there that are willing to kill, and they're hard-nosed killers. And we will work with the Iraqis to secure their future." (Thanks to "About.com.")

All one has to do to "insult" George W. Bush is to quote him.

Besides, the President’s defenders are not upset about the "What, Me Worry?" comparison. They are upset about something more subtle, something that Hillary Clinton reminds us of without having to come out and say it: There is an eerie resemblance between George W. Bush and Alfred E. Neuman.

Look at the photos at the top of this column. I swear there was no doctoring except for necessary cropping and a slight tint adjustment to reconcile the two graphics. I didn’t change any physical features on George or Alfred.

And I certainly didn’t touch the eyes. I would never do that, because it’s the eyes that inspired me to see the comparison in the first place. I wondered why George W. Bush reminded me of Alfred E. Neuman. Then I realized it: the eyes. Look at them. There is no furnace behind those eyes. More like a Bic. There is no vision, in the "vision" sense. They could be struggling to read an eye chart, thinking there are supposed to be words there. ("What does BZFED mean?")

Incidentally, these images came from Time Magazine (Bush) and Mad Magazine (Neuman), which, when you think about it, is another interesting coincidence and comparison.

But that’s another column.

© July 14, 2005 by Mike Tully

All content on this page © by Mike Tully